Andres Laszlo Jr., aged less than two, was placed in the lap of Marilyn Monroe who allegedly said he was cute, so from that point onwards his life by definition has been downhill, and eighteen years later he found himself the 3rd worst student of his school (despite studying more than most) and weighing in at 26 stones. Yet, a year and a half later he was the fastest student in the world (or close to it), occasionally making some money from modeling.
PASSING TWO CUTE GIRLS IN THE STREET, Listening to THEM GIGGLE AT ME, ONE PART OF ME SAID “EITHER THEY THINK I’M HOT OR THEY´VE READ ABOUT ME,” THE OTHER PART SAID “I LOOK SO DISGUSTING THAT THEY WANNA THROW UP,” SO OF COURSE I WENT TOTALLY BONKERS.
Junior assumed himself to be God’s gift to humanity and went in search of something good enough to devote his newfound self to fight for. Finding only scales of grey, he changed his approach, and instead, he went in search of something bad enough to fight against. The scales were still grey, but since the darkest grey on the "fight-against-list" (drug illegality and money becoming the measure of what it oughtn't to become a measure of) seemed closer to black than the lightest grey seemed to white on the "fight-for-list" (more/broader education and thinking for oneself/skepticism) he settled for "against" and though money becoming the measure of what it oughtn't to become a measure of upset him a lot (and still does), he settled for drug illegality, quite possibly at least in part because it seemed the easier of the two. His drug-thinking was, and still is: Let others occupy themselves about the users; what worries me is what illegality and higher prices create: the criminals, the corruption, the supplier surpluses and the way these surplusses are laundered and invested. What little "good stuff" follows from illegalization doesn’t come even close to compensate for this.
However, in his native Sweden, he found little or no encouragement: "We strongly recommend against such a thesis, and there’d be nobody outside police and academia allowed at your disputation,"said his supervisor. "I don’t understand what you want to achieve," said Hans Holmér (Sweden’s “National Police Commissioner”) and "We cannot support such an approach," said Vienna (UNODC).
As going from "best" student to mediocre (or at least unrecognized) Ph.D. wasn't a very attractive prospect, Laszlo Jr. gave up on academia and embarked on an all-the-things-a-man-should-have-done project, in order that if he one day got into the position to say something worthwhile (to an audience that would be willing to listen), he would be properly prepared to do so. The first thing on his list was to sail around the world.
"ANDRES, YOU MIGHT BE BIG AND STRONG, BUT ONE NIGHT WHEN YOU SLEEP, I WILL KILL YOU," A LITTLE GIRL ON THE BOAT TOLD ME. i had to leave and LATER THE BOAT SUNK: I LOST MY LAST CORONA.
Laszlo Jr. gave up: broke and humiliated he returned to Sweden with the unpalatable knowledge that in order to do all those things a man should have done, one needs not only a cool list but also money. Charlotte, a friend at Bukowski's (Sweden’s “Sotheby’s,” sort of), told him:I say buy Swedish art deco, and my boyfriend says buy Swedish art glass.Out of this Laszlo Jr. came up with Orrefors 1925 – 1950. He emptied the glass shops, bought cheaply at auction, sold the lesser part of his collection, wrote a book and became well off and famous.
"I TRIED TO TELL THE STUPID SWEDES THAT ORREFORS ART GLASS 1925 - 50 WAS THE ONLY THING THAT WE HAVE BEEN BEST AT SINCE THE VIKING'S WOOD AND SILVER, BUT AGAIN: NOBODY LISTENED."
For a second time he set up an “all-the-things-a-man-should-have-done-list" - actually he based it on a list he had composed at the age of 9 or 10: it was only as he pruned it down from 11 to 10 issues that he cut out "kiss a princess" - and he then spent 20 years doing (& failing to do) the things on the list:
3Y AT OXFORD (√), B.A. PHILOSOPHY (√), B.A. WRITING (√), ENGLISH AS WRITTEN LANGUAGE (√), OALD BY HEART (√), ATHLETE (√), SHOOT MAN-EATING TIGER (AN ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING RESOLUTION - SORRY), SURF PIPELINE (√), 200 COUNTRIES (189 WITH VERY CREATIVE COUNTING) & ACT JAMES BOND (FAILED; THEY ARE PROBABLY STILL LAUGHING AT ME).
For 20 years, he had an indecent amount of fun and good fortune, doing (and failing to do) these things, and now he seems to have settled down in Spain, close to Malaga (though he could be on the move again).
Andres Laszlo Jr. has long harbored two main preoccupations: “Illegalization of narcotic drugs causes a lot of bad things and very few good things” and “Money is becoming the measure of what it shouldn't become the measure of.” Yet, he has always felt that there were people better suited than himself to get onto their soap boxes in order to deplore and explain this bad stuff - or, “dysfunctionalities”, as he thinks of them - and not until recently has he realized that: The fact that money is becoming the measure of what it ought not to be allowed to become the measure of, could well be one important reason to why drug illegality is not repealed.
It was only then - as he realized that his two pet grievances maybe could be seen as riding in tandem - that he started to believe that he knew part of the reason why dysfunctional social discourses were allowed to survive, thrive and rule; it was only then that he felt that he might have something important to contribute; it was only then that he decided to put pen to paper, and it was only then that he decided to start out on his series: "Dysfunctional Discourses", starting with a book on the only dysfunctional discourse he feels he knows enough about to say something worthwhile: drug illegality.
I STARTED TO THINK "MAYBE 'MONEYFICATION' IS ONLY ONE OF MANY 'HIDDEN DYSFUNCTIONALITIES,' CAUSING OBVIOUS/MANIFESTED DYSFUNCTIONALITIES SUCH AS 'DRUG ILLEGALITY.'
And, sure enough, as Junior started to think about it, all sorts of dysfunctionalities - some hidden, some manifested - started to suggest themselves. Whereas the first part of Dysfunctional Discourses is about a particular an obvious dysfunctionality - drug illegality - the second part will DV be about what causes Dysfunctional Discourses in general.
on this site: (I) I WANT TO promote MY THOUGHTS ABOUT DYSFUNCTIONAL DISCOURSES BECAUSE I THINK THEY ARE IMPORTANT, AND COULD BE USEFUL FOR THE better structuring OF SOCIETY, (II) I WANT TO PROMOTE MY FATHER BECAUSE I THINK HE HAS BEEN UNFAIRLY FORGOTTEN AND BECAUSE I DID NOT TREAT HIM AS WELL AS HE maybe DESERVED DURING HIS LIFETIME & (III) I WANT TO SELL MY OWN FICTIONAL TEXTS AND ADAPTATIONS BECAUSE I FEEL THEY ARE GOOD AND OUGHT TO BE APPRECIATED. (IV) I WOULD LIKE TO make enough money to INDULGE IN SOME DISGUSTINGLY EXPENSIVE HELI-SKIING BEFORE I GET TOO OLD TO HANG FROM A CHOPPER.
Also: Laszlo Jr. is Swedish and French by nationality and has lived “everywhere,” people and animals have tried to kill him a dozen times. He speaks English, Swedish, Spanish, French and Danish (even if most Danes doesn't realize this). He is a bit of a giant, and he has probably done more brainless things than your five daftest friends together. Laszlo Jr. has also been: a mediocre actor, a too-tall model, an arrogant bridge-player, a chess protégé, a slicing golfer, an art collector/exhibitor an unbalanced rower, and a pathetically unexplosive discus-thrower.
1. SVENSK KONSTGLAS (Sellin & Blomqvist) is a book about the glory of Swedish art glass from the early 20th century to the mid/late. It is a coffee table book, designed to make "the sort of people that influence public opinion" aware of the fact that Swedish art glass 1925 - 1950 was the best in the world, and thus to protect our cultural heritage. Unfortunately, though it sold well, the "message-part" didn't work out as well as I had hoped. The book is available on the second-hand market at places such as eBay.
2. OTHER BOOKS ON GLASS (work in progress). I am presently fiddling with the writing of a bilingual SWEDISH CRYSTAL. Also, I have gathered the material for a book on FLYGSFORS/COQUILLE/PAUL KEDELV, but that will remain unfinished unless EU assistance is offered.
3. THE CHALLENGE (Amazon) is a book inspired by Andres Laszlo Sr.'s best-seller/blockbuster MY UNCLE JACINTO.Senior’s: Madrid, "La Quinta," 1940s, bullfighting and 17,000 words in my hands become Cape Town, Mandela Park, 2010, boxing and 75,000 words. It is a book for children of all ages. The book, which comes either as plain text or with 70 illustrations in the same style as the cover, is presently available in EnglishTHE CHALLENGE, Italian LA SFIDA, German DIE HERAUSFORDERUNG, Spanish EL RETO, French LE GRAND DEFI, and Swedish UTMANINGEN. THE CHALLENGE also comes as a film-script in English.
4. THE DRUG PROBLEM (Amazon) is a book arguing that drug illegality is a dysfunctional discourse and that a society with a more liberal approach to drugs would be a better society. The book offers no opinion on whether drugs are good or bad but emphatically corroborates that the harms suffered under illegalization are much greater than they would have been, had we taken a more liberal approach. It is a controversial book on a depressing subject-matter that nevertheless is intended to be entertaining: a drug policy book like no other. It is also the first book in the series Dysfunctional Discourses. The book's first half is available also in Spanish: EL PROBLEMA DE LA DROGA. A smaller, illustrated critique of illegality is on its way, together with a series of new videos.
5. LASZLO & LASZLO CHRONICLES PART II (Amazon) are short stories collected mainly from my own life. Several are taken from the yet-to-be-published adventure-series The Caspian Connection and two from The Drug Problem. You will find that I have led quite an adventurous and - at least when I did not appear to be on my way to become a tiger’s lunch, or executed by General Noriega's drug-trafficking police officers - quite entertaining life. Many of these stories read like treatments/scenarios, something that could make them interesting to producers.
6. THE LASZLO & LASZLO CHRONICLES (Amazon) is a collection of 46 (22+24) short stories. Both my father and I have led adventurous lives. Many of these stories read like treatments/scenarios; i.e., they are often designed to attract the attention of movie and theatre producers. The stories are structured (and Senior’s adapted) so as to provide 100 years of continuation and biography. This is a novel form of literature.The text is presently available in English, Spanish and French, Italian and Swedish.
7. TRANSLATIONS/ADAPTATIONS x 7. I have (sometimes outsourcing the rough-translations) translated and adapted all 7 of Senior's works from Spanish to English. The texts have been given the content editing that 5 out of 7 had not received.
- 7.1. MY UNCLE JACINTO, 2015 (Amazon) is a translation and (a minor) adaptation of Andre's Laszlo Sr.'s original text MI TIO JACINTO (an earlier English Random House translation exists). This English adaptation has then been translated/published also in French 2017 (Amazon): MON ONCLE JACINTO (an earlier French Gallimard translation exists), and in Swedish 2017 (Amazon): MIN FARBROR TJURFÄKTAREN.
- 7.2. PACO NEVER FAILS, 2015 (Amazon) is a translation and (a minor) adaptation of Andre's Laszlo Sr.'s original text PACO EL SEGURO (an earlier English Random House translation exists).This adaptation is designed to make the book more attractive to contemporary readers and especially to film-makers, who in the past have shown interest.
- 7.3. SENIOR'S SHORT STORIES, 2017 (Amazon) is (a major) adaptation of Andres Laszlo Senior's collection of short stories SOLO EL PAISAJE CAMBIA in which I have modernized Senior's stories and turned them "towards the screen." These stories have also been translated into French, Italian and Swedish. This text, as a biography, forms the first part of THE LASZLO & LASZLO CHRONICLES.
- 7.4. MOTHER UNKNOWN, 2017 (Amazon), is the only of Senior’s three major novels that hasn't been turned into movie (though Senior was negotiating a film contract at his demise). This book was never published in English, and as I have translated it from Spanish to English, I have also adapted it. The storyline - though, as Senior was not given a content-editor, the logic was weak (now fixed) - is great: a man in search of, yet not knowing the identity of, his son’s mother.
- 7.5. DOÑA JUANA, 2017 (Amazon), is a theatre play dressed up as a novella and shows off Senior as both the playwright and the stage manager that he was, before he started out as a novel-writer. A young girl is about to be dumped by her boyfriend, when Don Juan, traveling through space and time, comes along to give a few helpful advice. However, the girl turns out to be a faster learner than Don Juan had expected. The book is now available in English and would make great theatre/operetta/musical. Marcel Marceau performed it as a mime in Paris, and I would very much like to see this staged.
- 7.6. THE CRAB’S RHAPSODY (Amazon) presents Andrés Laszlo as a humourist of fertile imagination and abundant resources. "Rhapsody" refers to how the main character, during the time leading up to the German invasion of France, is dealing with his own pacifism. This is a mainly autobiographic work, seen from the point-of-view of the protagonist, whose real identity is not in doubt. The book is set in bohemian Paris at the outbreak of World War II: the monumental Paris, the tourist Paris, and a Paris that surprisingly well managed to forget about the traumas of the war. This novel makes Paris look as if almost exclusively composed of night cabarets, dangerous subcultures, night performers, and quaint attics where more or less authentic artists heroically try not to die from starvation.
- 7.7. THE SEAL CASTLE (Amazon), just as THE CRAB’S RHAPSODY, presents Andrés Laszlo as a humourist of fertile imagination and abundant resources. The “castle” - that is really the famous Turkish Baths of Budapest, and that sleeps an odd collection of characters that for different reasons have opted out of traditional accommodation - is seen from the point-of-view of the protagonist, whose real identity is not in doubt. Our protagonist, who is an actor, sleeps in the baths as a way of surviving on his meagre income.
8. THE CASPIAN CONNECTION (unpublished) is one of my two remaining major projects. In this trilogy, we follow the adventures of Odin's son as he walks the earth in the 21st century, unaware of his ancestry and subjected to plenty of temptations. Two books are written and close to publishable in both English (THE SEVENTH LOT & A QUESTION OF HONOUR) and Swedish (DET SJUNDE UTROPED & EN FRÅGA OM HEDER). The back- and hidden stories are quite elaborate, and I think of them as not all that far behind those of THE LORD OF THE RINGS.
9. DYSFUNCTIONAL DISCOURSES II: WHY & HOW? (unpublished) is my second remaining major project, and something I intend to try to make my intellectual legacy. It holds that we (as in "we humanity") organize ourselves dysfunctionally - as when we, for example, illegalize drugs - and tries to through some light on how and why we do so.
BOOKS BY ANDRES LASZLO JR. IN ITALIAN
- Cronached di Laszlo & Laszlo (Italian, Amazon, 2018) BUY
- Cronached di Laszlo & Laszlo II (Italian, Amazon, 2018) BUY
- La Sfida (Italian, Amazon, 2017) BUY
- La Sfida: Illustrated Version (Italian, Amazon, 2019) BUY
BOOKS BY ANDRES LASZLO JR. IN ENGLISH
- The Challenge (Amazon, 2015) BUY
- The Challenge: script (Amazon, 2015) BUY
- The Challenge: illustrated version (Amazon 2018) BUY
- The Drug Problem (Amazon, 2016) BUY
- The Laszlo & Laszlo Chronicles (Amazon, 2016) BUY
- Short Stories by Junior (Amazon, 2017) BUY
- Short Stories by Senior (Adaptation, Amazon, 2017) BUY
- My Uncle Jacinto (Adaptation, Amazon 2015) BUY
- Paco Never Fails (Adaptation, Amazon 2015) BUY
- Mother Unknown (Adaptation, Amazon, 2016) BUY
- Doña Juana (Adaptation, Amazon, 2016) BUY
- The Crab's Rhapsody (Adaptation, Amazon, 2018) BUY
- The Seal Castle (Adaptation, Amazon, 2018) BUY
- The Complete Works of Andres Laszlo Sr. (Adaptation, Amazon, 2018) BUY
- Swedish Art Glass 2 (work in progress)
- Dysfunctional Discourses II (work in progress)
- The Caspian Connection (Work in progress)
- A Critique of Drug Illegality (Work in progress)
BOOKS BY ANDRES LASZLO JR. IN SWEDISH
- Svenskt Konstglas (paper book, Sellin & Partners, 1991) BUY
- Utmaningen (Amazon, 2015) BUY
- Utmaningen: Illustrated Version (Amazon, 2019) BUY
- Laszlo & Laszlo Släktkrönika (Amazon, 2019) BUY
- Junior's Korta Historier (Amazon, 2019) BUY
- Senior's Korta Historier (Adaptation, Amazon, 2019) BUY
- Min Farbror Tjurfäktaren (Adaptation, Amazon, 2016) BUY
- Doña Juana (Adaptation, Amazon, 2018) BUY
- Det Sjunde Utropet (Work in progress)
- En Fråga Om Heder (Work in progress)
- Svensk Konstglas 2 (Work in progress)
- Narkotikaproblemet (translation planed)
- Moder Okänd (translation planned)
BOOKS BY ANDRES LASZLO JR. IN OTHER LANGUAGES
- El Reto (Spanish, Amazon, 2015) BUY
- El Reto: Illustrated Version (Spanish, Amazon, 2019) BUY
- El Problema de la Droga (Spanish, Amazon, 2016) BUY
- Las Crónicas de Laszlo & Laszlo (Spanish, Amazon, 2018) BUY
- Las Crónicas de Laszlo & Laszlo II (Spanish, Amazon, 2018) BUY
- Le Grand Defi (French, Amazon, 2016) BUY
- Le Grand Defi: Illustrated Version (French, Amazon, 2019) BUY
- Chroniques Laszlo & Laszlo (French, Amazon, 2018) BUY
- Chroniques Laszlo & Laszlo II (French, Amazon, 2018) BUY
- Die Heraudfoderung (German, Amazon, 2016) BUY
- Die Heraudfoderung: Illustrated Vesion (German, Amazon, 2019) BUY