Junior, though he cannot write very well, feels that he has something important to say about drug illegality as well as about money becoming the measure of what it ought not to be allowed to become the measure of. He also has some unusual ideas about how to arrange/structure texts, and a less negative weltanschauung than Senior. As his thoughts on drug policy were not appreciated in his native Sweden he made himself a bucket list to become “listenable-to,” something that has given him the sort of life that one really shouldn’t be able to get away with in this time and age. Thank You.
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Andres Laszlo Jr., aged less than two, was placed in the lap of Marilyn Monroe who allegedly said he was adorable, so from that point onward his life by definition has been downhill, and eighteen years later he found himself the 3rd worst student of his school despite studying more than most and weighing in at 26 stones. A year and a half later he was the fastest student in the world (or close to it), occasionally sidelining in modeling.
PASSING TWO CUTE GIRLS IN THE STREET, LISTENING TO THEM GIGGLE AT ME, ONE PART OF ME SAID “THEY THINK I’M HOT,” THE OTHER PART SAID, “I LOOK SO DISGUSTING THAT THEY WANNA THROW UP.” OF COURSE, I WENT TOTALLY BONKERS.
Anyway, Junior assumed himself to be God’s gift to humanity and went in search of something good enough to devote his newfound self to fight for. Finding only scales of grey, he changed his approach, and instead, he went in search of something bad enough to fight against. The scales were still all grey, but since the darkest grey stuff on the "fight-against-list" (drug illegality and money becoming the measure of what it oughtn't to become a measure of) seemed closer to black than the lightest grey seemed to white on the "fight-for-list" (more/broader education and thinking for oneself/skepticism) he settled for "against", and though money becoming the measure of what it oughtn't to become a measure of bothered him a lot (and still does), he settled for drug illegality.
However, in his native Sweden, he found no encouragement: "We strongly recommend against such a thesis, and there’d be nobody outside police and academia allowed at your disputation," said his supervisor. "I don’t understand what you want to achieve," said Hans Holmér (Sweden’s “National Police Commissioner”), and "We cannot support such an approach," said Vienna (UNODC).
As going from "best" student to mediocre (or at least unrecognized) Ph.D. wasn't a very attractive prospect, Laszlo Jr. gave up on academia and embarked on an all-the-things-a-man-should-have-done project, in order that if he one day got into the position to say something worthwhile to an audience that would be willing to listen, he would be properly prepared to do so. The first thing on his list was to sail around the world.
"ANDRES, YOU MIGHT BE BIG AND STRONG, BUT ONE NIGHT WHEN YOU SLEEP, I WILL KILL YOU," A LITTLE GIRL ON THE BOAT TOLD ME. I HAD TO LEAVE AND LATER THE BOAT SUNK: I LOST MY LAST CORONA.
Laszlo Jr. gave up: broke and humiliated he returned to Sweden with the unpalatable knowledge that in order to do all those things he figured that a man should have done, one needs not only a cool bucket list but also money. Charlotte, a friend at Bukowski's (at the time sort of Sweden’s “Sotheby’s”), told him: I say you should buy Swedish art deco, and my boyfriend says Swedish art glass. Out of this Laszlo Jr. came up with "Orrefors 1925 – 1950." He emptied the glass shops, bought cheaply at auction, sold the lesser part of his collection, wrote a book, and became well off and famous.
"I TRIED TO TELL THE SWEDES THAT ORREFORS ART GLASS 1925 - 50 WAS THE ONLY THING THAT WE HAVE BEEN BEST AT SINCE THE VIKING'S WOOD AND SILVER, BUT AGAIN: NOBODY LISTENED."
For a second time Andres Laszlo Jr. set up an “all-the-things-a-man-should-have-done-list" - actually, he based it on a list he had composed at the age of 9 or 10, and he then spent 20 years pursuing the things on the list:
ENGLISH AS WRITTEN LANGUAGE (√), ATHLETE (√), 3Y AT OXFORD (√), B.A. PHILOSOPHY (√), B.A. WRITING (√), OALD BY HEART (√), SHOOT MAN-EATING TIGER (AN ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING RESOLUTION - SORRY), SURF PIPELINE (√), 200 COUNTRIES (187 WITH VERY CREATIVE COUNTING) & ACT JAMES BOND (FAILED BUT I APPLIED; THEY ARE PROBABLY STILL LAUGHING AT ME).
For 20 years, he had an indecent amount of fun and good fortune, doing (and failing to do) these things, while starting out on various writing projects. He then settled down in Fuengirola, Spain, where he has worked on his own texts, while also blowing some fresh life into the writings of his once-famous father.
Also: Laszlo Jr. is Swedish and French by nationality and has lived “everywhere,” people and animals have tried to kill him a dozen times. He speaks English, Swedish, Spanish, French, and Danish (though most Danes don't realize this). He is a bit of a giant, and he has probably done more brainless things than your five daftest friends together. Laszlo Jr. has also been: a mediocre actor, a too-tall model, an arrogant bridge player, a chess protégé, a slicing golfer, an art collector/exhibitor, a should-have-been rower, and a pathetically unexplosive discus-thrower.
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SVENSK KONSTGLAS/SWEDISH ART GLASS (Sellin & Blomqvist) is a book about the glory of Swedish art glass from the early 20th century to the mid/late. It is a coffee table book, designed to make "the sort of people that influence public opinion" aware of the fact that Swedish art glass 1925 - 1950 was the best in the world, and thus to protect our cultural heritage. Unfortunately, though it sold well and caused fame, the "message-part" didn't work out as well as I had hoped. The book is available on the second-hand market at places such as eBay and Swedish Tradera.
OTHER BOOKS ON GLASS (work in progress). I have been fiddling about with the writing of a bilingual SWEDISH CRYSTAL. Also, I have gathered the material for a book on FLYGSFORS/COQUILLE but that will remain unfinished unless assistance is offered.
THE CHALLENGE is a book inspired by Andres Laszlo Sr.'s best-seller/blockbuster MY UNCLE JACINTO. Senior’s: Madrid, "La Quinta," 1940s, bullfighting, and 17,000 words in my hands become Cape Town, Mandela Park, 2010, boxing, and 75,000 words. It is a book for children of all ages. The book, which comes either as plain text or with 70 illustrations in the same style as the cover, is presently available in English THE CHALLENGE, Italian LA SFIDA, German DIE HERAUSFORDERUNG, Spanish EL RETO, French LE GRAND DEFI, and Swedish UTMANINGEN. THE CHALLENGE also comes as a film script in English.
THE DRUG PROBLEM is a book arguing that drug illegality is a dysfunctional discourse and that a society with a more liberal approach to drugs would be a better society. The book offers no opinion on whether drugs are good or bad in themselves but emphatically corroborates that the harms suffered under legalization probably are much greater than they would have been, had we taken a more liberal approach. It is a controversial book on a depressing subject matter that nevertheless is intended to be entertaining: a drug policy book like no other. It is also the first book in the series DYSFUNCTIONAL DISCOURSES. The book's first half is available also in Spanish: EL PROBLEMA DE LA DROGA.
DRUG ILLEGALITY IS A SCAM. Drug illegality is bad. Drug illegality is a scam, as well as the main cause of what you think of as “the drug problem”, and at the end of this short book, you will be convinced that it is so. This book is: 1) An introduction to The Drug Problem by the same author, 2) A promotion of his Youtube talks & 3) An attempt to make you understand that drug illegality really is a bad policy. Also available in Swedish: NARKOTIKAOLAGLIGHET.
LASZLO & LASZLO CHRONICLES PART II is a collection of short stories from my own life. Several stories are taken from the adventure series The Caspian Connection and The Drug Problem. You will find that I have led quite an adventurous and - at least when I did not appear to be on my way to becoming a tiger’s lunch or executed by General Noriega's drug-trafficking police officers - quite entertaining life. Many of these stories read like treatments/scenarios, something that could make them interesting to producers.
THE LASZLO & LASZLO CHRONICLES is a collection of 49 (23+26) short stories. Both my father and I have led adventurous lives. Many of these stories read like treatments/scenarios; i.e., they are often designed to attract the attention of movie- and theatre producers. The stories are structured (and Senior’s adapted) to provide 110 years of continuation and biography. The text is available in English, Spanish (bad translation of part 2) and French, Italian, and Swedish.
THE CASPIAN CONNECTION is one of my two remaining major unfinished projects. In this series, we follow the adventures of Odin's son as he walks the earth in the 21st century, unaware of his ancestry and subjected to plenty of temptations. Two books are written, and are presentable in English (THE SEVENTH LOT and A QUESTION OF HONOUR) and Swedish (DET SJUNDE UTROPED and EN FRÅGA OM HEDER). The back- and hidden stories are quite elaborate, and in potential complexity, I think of them as close to THE LORD OF THE RINGS.
DYSFUNCTIONAL DISCOURSES II: WHY & HOW? is my second remaining major project. It will hold that we (as in "we humanity") organize ourselves dysfunctionally - as when we, for example, illegalize the supply of drugs, or allow money to influence outside its natural realm - and tries to through some light on how and why we do so.
TRANSLATIONS/ADAPTATIONS x 7. I have (sometimes outsourcing the rough-translations) translated and adapted all Senior's 7 works from Spanish to English, and the texts have been given the content editing that 5 out of 7 had not previously received.
MY UNCLE JACINTO is a translation and minor adaptation of Andre's Laszlo Sr.'s original text MI TIO JACINTO (an earlier English Random House translation exists). This English adaptation has then been translated also into French 2017: MON ONCLE JACINTO, and into Swedish 2017: MIN FARBROR TJURFÄKTAREN.
PACO NEVER FAILS is a translation and minor adaptation of Andre's Laszlo Sr.'s original text PACO EL SEGURO. This adaptation is designed to make the book more attractive to contemporary readers and especially to filmmakers, who in the past have shown interest. The murder-mystery aspect has been enhanced.
SENIOR'S SHORT STORIES is a translation and major adaptation of Andres Laszlo Senior's collection of short stories SOLO EL PAISAJE CAMBIA in which I have modernized Senior's stories and turned them "towards the screen." These stories have also been translated into French, Italian, and Swedish. This text, as part of a family chronicles, forms the first part of THE TALE(S) OF TWO KNAVES.
MOTHER UNKNOWN is a translation and major adaptation of the only of Andres Laszlo Senior’s three "big" novels that haven't been turned into a movie (though Senior was negotiating a film contract at his demise). This book was never published in English and never given any content editing. As I translated it from Spanish to English, I have also adapted it towards the screen.
DOÑA JUANA is a translation and major adaptation of Andres Laszlo Senior's used-to-be-theater-play-dressed-up-as-a-novella. This novella has now been returned to the theatre script it used to be, and I hope that it now showcases Senior as the theater person that he was before he started out as a novel-writer. The novella is available in Spanish, English, and Swedish: the script only in English.
THE CRAB’S RHAPSODY is a translation and a major adaptation of Andres Laszlo Senior's LA PAPSODIA DE CANGREJO where we autobiographically follow Andres Laszlo as he starved his way through pre-war Paris: a dark comedy related to THE SEAL CASTLE but not to any other of his work.
THE SEAL CASTLE is a translation and major adaptation of Andres Laszlo Senior's EL CASTILLO DE LAS FOCAS. Just as THE CRAB’S RHAPSODY it appears to be autobiographical, and we follow Senior as he takes up residence in the famous Turkish Baths of Budapest: the "seal" castle.
